“I'm very happy to announce that this very special book will be making its way to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, and Bereavement suite as a much welcomed addition to the resources for children whose sibling has died.

“Where are you Lydie?” A beautifully illustrated reality, of two brothers’ experience and journey of grief following the death of their sister Lydie. This book has brought a smile to my face and a tear. It also managed to give Eliza a few giggles whilst reading it, laughing isn't something we associate grief with, right? But grief, what is grief and what is death? How do we explain this emotion and reality to children? For us as a family we found it quite difficult to explain to Caodain and Eliza why Cohan had died, where he was now and the many, many questions we consume on a daily basis. Questions we sometimes cannot answer. With children you have to be very mindful of the words we use in regards to death. Yet we also have to be very honest, so as not to give children the illusion that their baby brother or sister "is coming back again". Something Eliza said to us the day Cohan died. "Mummy God has taken Cohan to make him better and he will send him back to us for Christmas". When Daniel and I sat Eliza down and explain to her that Cohan wouldn't be coming back, that he now lives in heaven with God and that he would look after him, the confusion as to why her baby brother was taken away and never coming back to live with our family and the heartache on her little face, was one of the hardest conversations we have had to have as a family.

Here in this beautiful and yet, sad book, Emma recalls her two boys experience of missing their sister Lydie, wondering where she is, and wanting to make her a cake and write her "happy cards" for her birthday. As a parent I appreciate the language used "Lydie gone, Lydie died". No fancy words, no confusion, written just as Henry and George spoke of their sister and expressed their emotions. "The first thing Eliza said to me when we read the book was "Mummy we can do that for Cohan's birthday." Immediately she felt "normal" that she wasn't the only child experiencing these emotions and for me, that was a relief. That Eliza won't feel she has to hide her sadness and recognising that celebrating her brother’s birthday is just as important as hers and Caodains. Yes it is different to theirs but the importance of celebrating Cohan and the love remains the same. For anyone who has a child that is grieving the loss of their sibling I cannot recommend this book enough. Be prepared though, you will smile and you will cry. The piece of cake tied to the balloon says it all really. Thank you to Emma Poore for sharing your two wonderful boys experience of losing and remembering Lydie in their own special way.”

 — Natalie Bowen

I thought the best way to write a review about this beautiful book was to do it from my children, as we were gifted the book for them after the death of their sister.

"The book made me think of our families and our baby as Lydie is in the sky like our sister Naya. I liked the dressing up and rainbow part as it made me feel happy as it was bright and colourful, rainbows always make me think of my sister. The book made me think of our family as our baby is like Lydie she’s in the sky." India - aged 8

"The story made me think of my sister Naya, I loved the pictures in the book because they were so colourful and looked like children’s drawings, we always have a cake too so I liked that part." Marley - aged 6

"It made me think of my baby sister I liked the party as we have a party every year too, the book made me feel happy. The family are like us it made my heart beat fast." Hudson - aged 5

 — Kirsty - founder of @nayas_wish

“I just wanted to say thank you so much.”

“Once I got my hands on this book I felt like it took a weight off my shoulders when reading it alongside my 5 year old daughter. Having lost our beautiful daughter Zara at 36 weeks of pregnancy in March, Isla was expecting a brand new baby sister. The book is so beautiful & she absolutely loved that Zara can still have a birthday party just like Lydie. My son is 3 & I’m hoping in time the book will also be a huge comfort for him, but his understanding of what has happened seems limited at the moment. Thank you & thinking of you Lydie. I hope you’re in the stars enjoying some cake with my Zara.”

 — Emma Coles

“I cannot recommend this book enough for any sibling that is struggling with the death of their brother or sister.”

Sibling loss... When Louis died professionals told us “Rex will be fine”, “he probably won’t realise what’s happened”, “Rex won’t understand”, “Rex will get you through this”. These statements are completely inaccurate and undermine the grief and loss siblings feel after the death of a brother or sister, no matter what age! Obviously the level of understanding is different depending on age but even at 3 year old Rex understood that Louis wasn’t coming home. For the first couple of weeks after Louis death Rex cried himself to sleep repeatedly asking for his little brother back. Continually saying “he will come back to us mammy” not understanding how final death is.

It is so complicated and difficult to support siblings through loss and I always wanted to make sure we were doing our very best for Rex, trying to help him understand. I bought a few books but none of them were appropriate until I found ‘Where are you Lydie’ by @emmapooreauthor. Wow, this book is so beautifully written Rex asked me to read it again. It opens the door to talk about grief and loss without being incredibly distressing and upsetting. A story full of love and hope. I cannot recommend this book enough for any sibling that is struggling with the death of their brother or sister.  Thank you so much for writing this book @emmapooreauthor

 — Beth Carter

“I feel that this book will be invaluable to our family.”

"Where are you Lydia? is a thoughtful book that gently guides you through difficult conversations that parents and family members have with children who have suffered a tragic loss in their family. The bright and colourful illustrations capture a child’s imagination and provide visual aids for discussion. The love for Lydie is clear throughout the book and it reminds the reader how important and loved a baby is and how they are always part of your family even when they are no longer here.

 I feel that this book will be invaluable to our family as my oldest son gets bigger and these important questions arise about his little brother in the sky.” 

— Lauren Holly

“A really comforting, heartening read.”

“What a beautiful book. The hand drawn illustrations give this book such a feeling of warmth and familiarity. These, coupled with the little down-to-earth ‘back and forth’ conversations between Henry and George make the book not in the least bit intimidating which is so surprising considering the subject matter.

Having myself suffered from recurrent miscarriages before having my two children I can absolutely relate to the sense of loss and longing that the book captures but it is explored so delicately and set in such a loving framework that although honest it’s a really comforting, heartening read.”

— Carrie Foreman

“This is a beautiful book which, though heartbreaking to read, can give my son (3 at the time of first reading) a sense of what the loss of our baby means.

The book shows him how he can remember his brother, Henry, and that his life is one that should be marked. Although a tough read for me and my husband it is good to have another way to explain what has happened. Thank you for producing this.” 

— Rebecca Rogger

 

“Emma Poore gets right to the heart of the difficult questions we all, especially children, have when facing loss.”

“This special book is progressive and inclusive in both concept and design, an invaluable resource with universal appeal and meaning. The sibling focused narrative supports and empowers family connection, remembrance, reflection and love - whenever it is needed.

This book and its author are powerful advocates for wider society understanding and supporting siblings surviving loss.”

— Jenny Cave-Jones

“We’ve compiled a list of our favourite picture books about death before, and I think they’re such an important resource for both kids and parents. But we didn’t have any books that deal with the death of a child early in life, perhaps even stillborn. And I think that makes this book an especially important resource to keep in mind.

The very early death of a child is the tragic setting of Where are You Lydie?, and it focuses on the feelings of her siblings that are mourning her. I love that all of the adults in the book use euphemisms like Lydie is in the stars or has turned into a fairy - but it’s the youngest person in the book who puts it the most bluntly - “Lydie gone. Lydie died.” That reminds me of the important honesty of Anastasia Higginbotham’s “Death is Stupid”. I can’t overstate the sincere beauty of watching these two young boys deal with their feelings about losing their sister in their own pure childlike way. I love the younger brother trying to take care of his older brother. And I love the message that the family members who die are still a part of your family, and you can still celebrate them. And isn’t the image of the slice of cake tied to a balloon so sad and beautiful?

We recently lost a dear family pet after 18 years, and the usefulness of books like this one was really driven home for me. Our 4-year-old said we lost our friend but we can still celebrate her like the little girl in that book we just read.”

— Ryan, Dad Suggests